


Feel Again

by trenda



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: And More Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, im so sorry, jorge (briefly mentioned), minho (briefly mentioned), newt (briefly mentioned), past Thomas/Teresa (implied)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-29 19:46:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trenda/pseuds/trenda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[AU set during The Death Cure, in which Teresa escaped WICKED headquarters with the rest of the Gladers] </p><p>Brenda, stuck in the Berg while the others are out trying to find Newt, has an interesting conversation with someone she never expected—Teresa. Once they start talking, they realize that they have a lot more in common than they originally thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feel Again

**Author's Note:**

> I reached out trying to love but I feel nothing  
> Yeah, my heart is numb
> 
> But with you  
> I feel again

 

It had been a strange week for Brenda. And that was saying a lot, what with the apocolypse and everything.

First, Brenda, Jorge, and the other Gladers had escaped _WICKED_ 's headquarters. Crazy, sure, but nothing that Brenda couldn’t handle. Thomas and the group had landed near the Crank holding spot where they were told that Newt would be. They were praying that he was still there, or that he hadn’t wandered off yet.

_Or worse_ , Brenda mused. She shook her head, stopping herself before she spoke the thought out loud. Thomas, who was in the middle of telling the group the rescue plan, gave her a strange look that quickly melted into a heartwarming smile. She glanced away (probably blushing if how hot her cheeks felt was any indication) but not before she noticed Teresa glaring at her. Brenda averted her eyes, quickly focusing on what Thomas was telling the small group.

“Minho, Jorge, and I will try going through the front gates first. If that doesn’t work, we’ll have to sneak around back.” He waited for a nod of confirmation from the two before continuing. “While we’re out there, Brenda, you and Teresa will stay aboard the Berg. We need a quick getaway if we’re leaving this shuck place with Newt, yeah?” Thomas glanced at the two girls briefly, opening his mouth to continue speaking.

Brenda interrupted him before he could, fixing an incredulous stare at him. She saw Teresa shoot her own angry look at him out of the corner of her eye, but she started talking before she could protest.

“You can’t be serious?” Teresa let out a noise of indignation at her words, but Thomas was silent. Thomas was avoiding her gaze, looking at just about everything in the room besides her and Teresa. For some reason, this infuriated her even more.

“What, you don’t think we can handle ourselves out there?” Brenda let out a small bitter laugh to show him how ridiculous she thought the idea was.

Thomas cleared his throat awkwardly, either not noticing or not acknowledging the fact that Minho and Jorge had slipped out of the room. His gaze seemed to skip over the two girls, avoiding Teresa’s scowl and Brenda’s icy glare and landing on a spot just above their heads.

“You know it’s not that,” Thomas tried to explain. Brenda could hear the sincerity in his voice, knew that he would let them go with the group if he could. Teresa rolled her eyes though, clearly not impressed with his excuses.

He shifted again, crossing his arms in an almost defensive posture. His shoulders were drawn and a familiar scowl settled across his face. “Look, I didn’t want to say this in front of those shanks, but you two are the ones who are really holding this group together right now,” He took a steadying breath, softening his tone. “I just—I want to do what I can to protect you. I couldn’t do that for Chuck, I—” Thomas’ whole face shifted abruptly into an expression that for the entire world looked like grief.

It was Teresa, surprisingly, who stopped him from continuing. “Tom, we’ll be fine. Seriously, you should be focusing on how to get Newt away from this god-awful place, not worrying about us. We’re big girls.” Her expression softened minutely before she reached up to Thomas, putting a hand on the side of his face. He leaned into her palm, smiling softly down at her. 

Brenda rolled her eyes at the pair. _Give me a break_ , she thought disgustedly. She cleared her throat pointedly at the two, barely suppressing a smile when they shot apart. 

“Well, if you shuck faces are going to save the day, you’d better leave now.”

Thomas shot her a small grateful smile before walking down the hall, yelling at Minho and Jorge to get a move on. 

 

* * *

 

The Berg grew uncomfortably quiet with the trio gone, Teresa moving to flop onto the couch. Brenda looked around, sighing warily as she propped herself onto the couch gingerly, keeping a suitable amount of distance between Teresa and herself.

It was no secret to Brenda that Teresa didn’t like her.

Which suited her just fine, Brenda reasoned. The feeling was most definitely mutual. 

There was nothing to do in the Berg, the silence occasionally broken by random shouts from the Cranks outside. Brenda shivered, more affected by the yelling and chaos outside than she originally thought.

Maybe it was a good idea that she had stayed inside.

Her eyes dropped closed before she knew it, the stress of the past three days paired with only a couple hours of restless sleep finally taking its toll on her. Her eyes shot open, cursing at herself for slipping. This happened a couple times before she saw Teresa give her a hesitant smile.

“You know, I’ll take first watch if you want to rest a little.” 

Brenda blinked at her incredulously. “Thanks, I won’t be—” She could barely finish her sentence before her eyes once again fluttered shut, this time sucking her into a thankfully deep sleep.

 

* * *

 

Brenda knew some time had passed when she woke up stretched out on the couch, a ratty blanket tucked carefully around her awkward position on the couch. _Teresa must have done that_ , she thought. _That’s...nice of her._

She quickly stopped that train of thought, scrubbing her eyes with the heel of one hand as she ripped the blanket off. Judging by the sounds down the hall, Teresa had moved into the smaller room there. She shuffled down the dark room slowly, still a little unbalanced from her impromptu nap. 

Teresa was lying on a small loveseat in the middle of the room on her back, another blanket bunched up at her feet. She wasn’t sleeping, just staring at the metal ceiling blankly. As Brenda crept closer into the room, about to offer to take watch, she realized that Teresa was crying. Tears were rolling steadily down her cheeks in time with the little hiccups that Brenda knew she was trying to suppress. Brenda walked into the room before she could stop herself, stopping a couple of feet away from Teresa, not wanting to get too close to her. Teresa refused to acknowledge her, however, the room remaining silent except for the occasional sniffle.

She stepped even closer to the plaid couch, sitting at the other end of it gingerly. “Teresa? Are you—are you okay?” She winced at the words when they were out, mentally cursing herself for sounding so stupid. Teresa obviously wasn’t okay, the sobs slowly becoming less muffled and the tears flowing at a steadier pace. 

Teresa quickly sat up from where she was laying and sent a quick glare at Brenda before the sobbing resumed. “Why do you care? It’s not like we’re _friends_ or anything.” 

Brenda winced again, this time at the venom in her words. She reached her hand up hesitantly to smooth back Teresa’s hair, amazed when she was allowed to. 

“Do you want to, um, talk about it?” She almost laughed at how nervous her words sounded even to her own ears. A laugh bubbled up in her throat that she quickly buried down, shaking her head. _Where the hell did that come from?_

“I just—” Teresa paused, a broken sob escaping that just about ripped Brenda’s heart out. She felt like such an intruder during this private moment. “I’m just so tired of Tom and the others not trusting me, you know? It’s—this situation is so shucking messed up, and there’s nothing I can do to make it right. I feel like I just need to prove myself to everyone. And I don’t know how I can do t-that. No one needs me here. Not Tom, not you, not a-anyone!” Her speech broke off into another round of sobs that racked her lean frame.

Brenda leaned back, shocked by Teresa’s sudden outburst. She wasn’t sure how to comfort her, moving closer to tentatively rub small circles on her back. It was a gesture that her mom had offered many times when she was little, a soothing motion that would lull Brenda to sleep many times. She coughed, awkwardly moving her hand off Teresa’s back.

“Listen, Teresa,” she started.  “I don’t know where you got the idea that you’re not special, or important, or needed here, but let me tell you that it is a load of klunk.” Teresa blinked up at her in surprise, the tears slowing before stopping completely. She turned to face Brenda, one leg going up and crossing under the other.   _Like we’re sharing secrets at a slumber party._ For some reason, the thought made her happy. Brenda brushed it off before rearranging her position to face Teresa. 

Under her intense gaze, all she could think was _blue_. Teresa’s eyes were a nice shade of blue, dark but with a little ring of light blue on the inside of her pupil. Her eyes were wide and unblinking in an endearing way. Teresa’s dark hair curled slightly at the ends from the humidity, spilling over her shoulders. This close, Brenda could count the smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks.

_She’s beautiful_ , Brenda thought incredulously. _No wonder Thomas loves her._ She cleared her throat, all too aware of the pang of jealousy she felt. She wiped her palms on her pants before continuing. 

“I know that we haven’t known each other long, but from the moment I saw you I knew we could be friends,” Brenda tried again. Teresa was still looking at her, the wide unblinking stare throwing her off. Whatever she was about to say died in her throat. They stared at each other for a beat, each waiting for the other to speak.

Teresa shifted, finally looking away before running a hand through her hair. She looked up at Brenda with an expression that could only be described as awestruck. “You—you really think that?”

Brenda grinned at her, her first real smile since this whole mess with WICKED started. “Of course.”

Teresa smiled openly at her now, all traces of tears gone. Somehow, they had shifted their positions on the couch again, now sitting close enough together that their thighs were touching.

Brenda could feel the heat practically radiating from Teresa every time she moved, bringing them closer together. She swallowed heavily, not wanting to move away but at the same time wanting to get as far away as possible. Teresa was dangerous, all bright eyes and wide smiles, the way that she seemed so fragile until you got to know her. She 

They sat in a semi-awkward silence for a couple of minutes, neither wanting to bring up Teresa’s confession or Brenda’s admission. It was quiet for a couple of minutes, until Brenda could hear herself blurting out, “So, do you—I mean—do you still like Thomas?” She winced at the juvenile words as soon as they were out of her mouth. _Smooth, Brenda_ , she groaned internally. _Real subtle._

Teresa gave her a blank expression that quickly transformed into a laugh. She tried hiding it behind her hand, but not before Brenda could hear her throaty giggle. Brenda looked away, cheeks heating up in indignation. 

Teresa saw how red her face was, turning around even more to face Brenda. “Hey,” she murmured softly. “Look, I wasn’t laughing at you, just the fact that you thought that—that Tom and I are something,” she snorted at the words, startling Brenda enough to look at her, shock evident on her face. She saw Brenda’s look and continued quickly. “I mean, yeah we used to be something, but that was a long time ago. He barely even wants to look at me anymore, let alone talk, or god forbid, _date_ me.”

Brenda leaned back on the ratty couch, trying to absorb the new information and ignore the flutter in her stomach at the words. She and Thomas...weren’t together. She sighed loudly, a mixture of relief and annoyance evident.

“Then what was the whole face grabbing thing this morning?” Brenda demanded, the relief quickly turning into anger. “That seemed a lot like something that two people who are dating would do.” A bitter laugh forced itself out of her throat before she could stop it.

Teresa seemed unfazed by the harsh words, instead leaning even closer to cup her hand on Brenda’s cheek, exactly as she had done to Thomas that morning. Up close, Brenda could smell the spicy cinnamon and something unique that always surrounded Teresa. She could feel Teresa’s palm on her skin, burning hot. Teresa smiled warmly at her and Brenda tried not to lean into the touch. 

“See, friends can do this to other friends.”

They had shifted closer to each other, so closed that Teresa’s legs were practically bent on Brenda’s lap. And no, that did not make Brenda happy whatsoever, nope. She could live in denial as long as she chose to.

Brenda was so close that she could see the individual lashes, the flecks of light green that were in Teresa’s eyes. Her breath puffed warmly on Brenda’s neck with each exhale. It shouldn’t have sent Brenda’s pulse spiking, her heart beating so loudly in her ears that she wondered if Teresa could hear it. She closed her eyes to take a steadying breath, startling when she opened them and Teresa was even closer, practically sitting in her lap now, a hand still covering Brenda’s cheek. She took another deep breath before leaning into the warmth of Teresa’s palm, sighing contentedly. 

Teresa stared at her, opening her mouth before snapping it shut, a conflicted expression crossing her face. Her lips were a light pink color, slightly chapped from the blistering heat outside. Brenda could only watch as her tongue darted out to lightly lick across her bottom lip. She licked her own lips, mirroring Teresa. At least she wasn’t the only one affected – Teresa seemed drawn to the movement. 

_I could kiss her_ , Brenda thought suddenly. She leaned in impossibly closer, studying Teresa’s face for any sign that she didn’t want this. Instead, she seemed eager, her eyes widening slightly before using both hands to grab Brenda’s face. Brenda groaned silently as this caused Teresa to shift further, as in, further onto her lap. It was too much; her breath picking up so rapidly that Teresa offered her a small smile before finally leaning in for a kiss.

It wasn’t perfect; their heads were tilted at such a strange angle that it caused them to bump teeth. They laughed breathlessly before leaning in again. This time it was a light movement of their lips, barely ghosting over each other, that shouldn’t have sent Brenda’s heart racing even more, but it did.

They broke apart, breathing deeply before Teresa moved down to connect her lips to Brenda’s again. Teresa’s hands quickly moved from Brenda’s face to her shirt, tugging to let her know that, _hey, this should be off now_. She let out a little moan of surprise when it was off, flushing as the kiss deepened, licking into Teresa’s mouth. 

Teresa let out her own surprised moan of her own before moving her hands from Brenda (which, _hey_ ) before ripping her own shirt off. They pulled apart at the same time, panting. Brenda leaned in for another kiss, but Teresa had other plans. She leaned down to scrape her teeth along Brenda’s collarbone, forcing a high pitched moan out of her. Teresa made her way down Brenda’s jawline to her collarbone, planting open-mouthed kisses as she went that left Brenda a little more than breathless.

“Oh, _fuck_ , please stop teasing,” Brenda whined. Teresa looked up at her through thick lashes, pressing another chaste kiss to her neck before speaking.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she smiled playfully. Brenda scowled down at her, pulling Teresa up by her hair. Brenda saw her eyes darken, the light blue almost completely overshadowed by black pupil, as she smirked and pushed Teresa so she was lying on the couch, groaning when their skin finally made contact.

“I think you’re enjoying this,” she paused to bite at the side of Teresa’s neck, driving a breathless sob from her.

She didn’t give Teresa a chance to reply, leaving small kisses and the occasional bite as she made her way down to her stomach. Teresa was silent—her shaky gasps were the only sound in the quiet room. 

Brenda smiled up at her before moving back up to kiss her again, this time almost desperately. Teresa made a small squeak as she returned the kiss with enthusiasm, reaching around to fumble with Brenda’s undershirt. Brenda could feel her face flushing even more as the heat from Teresa’s hands seemed to burn imprints on her shoulder blades. Teresa stopped when she saw the expression on her face.

“Hey,” for some reason Teresa was whispering. “You okay?”

Brenda leaned in, pressing her lips briefly to Teresa’s. She gave a minute sigh at the action.

“Never better.”

They were quiet for some time, exchanging lazy kisses as they lay on the couch together. Brenda leaned back to rest her head on Teresa’s chest, listening to the steady _bumbumbum_ of her heart. Teresa started stroking her hair slowly, pushing it back from her face. Brenda relaxed into the gentle touch, feeling her eyes slip closed once again. She pressed a quick kiss to the side of Teresa’s neck before sleep dragged her down into unconsciousness.

 

* * *

 

Brenda woke up a little disoriented; sure that she had felt someone’s eyes on her. She quickly shook it off as she rolled over to face Teresa, who was still sleeping. Her face was relaxed, a little snore coming from her mouth. Brenda leaned into the warmth of Teresa, giving a little sigh as she closed her eyes. A loud bang from the other room made her eyes snap open, this time hurrying to shake Teresa awake. Teresa grumbled something at her before turning over and pulling a pillow over her head.

The banging had stopped, replaced with the shuffling sound of footsteps. _Great_ , Brenda thought. _A couple of Cranks have come to join the party._ She felt around until found a shirt, slipping it over her head as she searched the room for a weapon. Teresa chose that moment to wake up, rubbing her eyes and mumbling something that Brenda couldn’t make out. She started protesting against being woken up until Brenda waved her hand at her to quiet down.

The footsteps stopped outside of the room as the person outside tried the doorknob. Brenda cursed herself for not locking the door before or checking to make sure the Berg’s doors were shut. She held her breath as the knob turned slowly, raising her makeshift weapon of a chair in front of her. 

The door opened, Brenda flying at the intruder before she could even think about it. It was someone she hadn’t even considered—Thomas. He moved aside quickly as the chair hit the wall behind him, nearly missing his head. He stepped into the room hesitantly, raising his hands in defense.

“Whoa, Brenda,” he spoke quietly, as if she was a rabid animal that needed calming. “You okay?” His eyes flickered from Brenda, who was considerably more rumpled than when he had left, to Teresa, who had sat up on the couch and was still without a shirt, small bruises marking her throat and shoulders.

Brenda cleared her throat as she saw Teresa shoot her a look, like _oh my god he knows please don’t tell him please_ , out of the corner of her eye. She snapped her mouth shut, disappointment and something like a twinge of sadness flooding her body. 

Thomas waited patiently as she struggled for the right words. _Tell him don’t tell him tell him don’t tell him_. Teresa obviously didn’t want her to say anything about it, so she swallowed down the bile that had risen and tried to change the subject. 

“We had a sleepover, and Teresa here decided to start a pillow fight.” She deadpanned, jabbing her thumb in Teresa’s direction, refusing to look at her. _Please don’t cry,_ please _don’t cry._

Thomas looked like he was about to say something but he quickly snapped his mouth shut, giving them both a dazzling smile, albeit a little weary looking. “Glad to hear that you two are getting along.”

Teresa had moved to stand next to him, so close that their arms brushed every few seconds. Brenda felt an irrational pulse of jealousy spike through her. _Not like we were exclusive or anything_ , she thought bitterly. Teresa shot her a small grateful smile, Thomas’ arm wrapped around her shoulders now. Brenda ignored her, pushing her way past the two. She stopped in the doorway, not turning around as she spoke. “Well I don’t know about you, but I think we should check on Newt again and then get the hell out of here, yeah?” She didn’t wait for an answer, walking briskly down the hall as they scrambled to keep up.

Teresa wouldn’t meet her eyes, smiling up at Thomas as he told them about the daring rescue. She felt her heart sink, that same feeling of dread creeping back in.

Well if Teresa refused to acknowledge what had happened between the two, then she wouldn’t bring it up again. She would go on as if nothing happened. _Because nothing did_ , she told herself firmly. _Nothing happened between me and Teresa. And nothing ever would._

Or would it?

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about the ending for this...meh. If enough people want me too, I'll (attempt) to write a part two.
> 
> The title for this is taken from the song "Feel Again" by OneRepublic. :)


End file.
